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Paradise, CA Community

11/19/2018

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Today I spoke to some staff about self-care and the importance of what that meant.  I talked about how we should always focus on work-life balance and really acknowledge when we are burning out.  We discussed vicarious trauma and the effects that has on our lives, on our health and on our overall sense of being.  We shared what led to burn out for us and also some of the trauma we face.  This led me to Paradise.  I wasn't raised in Paradise but I lived there and raised my son since he was about 5.  He is now 20.  I can't believe the devastation this town has endured and the people who have survived now have to face.  I find myself at times in tears; some times feeling a gut wrenching heaviness from the weight of the devastation.  My son's schools, his home's he lives in, his child care centers, the McDonald's, the Recreation Centers and the Employer's I had....all gone.  My sadness prevails.  

Then I speak to my friends who have survived.  They have lost their homes, their things, their lives.  However, what they have not lost is their overall sense of faith and love for life.  I am a spiritual person and believe that they are the mirrors to heaven because in pure darkness and devastation, they see light.  I aspire to be more of this.  I will continue to send my prayers to those touched by the fires of Paradise.  However, I wanted to really come back to what I started my morning on with the staff.  Vicarious trauma and self-care.  In darkness, there is light.  In light, there is balance. Focus on finding your balance so that when events happen in your life, not like the fire, but normal stressful events, you can manage effectively.  Some coping skills that I have developed over time and continue to take practice are:
1. Exercise: I love to use the rowing machine and the elliptical
2. Walk the dog or go to the dog park: There is nothing like spending time at the dog park and feeling the happiness of the other dogs and the owners
3. Spending time with good friends: I say good friends because it is important to get rid of the ones that do not add value to your life
4. Church: I love hearing the messages and singing the music  
5. Beach: Watching the waves, smelling the salt, listening to the sounds
6. Massages: This isn't one of my first choices
7. Gardening: Love to grow my own food and know that I accomplished something

This is just a start.  What works for you?  

Southern California suffered fires and loss too. Please donate to both Southern and Northern California if you are able to.  Red Cross or Salvation Army are two resources where the the supplies will go directly to the victims.  
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    Angela Warneke

    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#88167). I have been working with youth since 2006 in the role of parent educator, therapist, case manager and supervisor from programs involving youth.  I have also worked with adults since 2006 through parenting, Child Welfare and Behavioral Health services.

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